it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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