maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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