i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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