i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize