All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
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