Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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