I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize