DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize