I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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