next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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