The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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