Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize