the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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