just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
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how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
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Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
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