so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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