this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
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his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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