there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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