I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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