You just made me feel so damn special
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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