fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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