Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize