Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
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