I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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