your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize