he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize