Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
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I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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