If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
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I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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