shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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