He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
The air was thick with penises
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize