THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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