dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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