I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
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Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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