he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
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