Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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