please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
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