Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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