What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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