I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize