after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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