She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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