So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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