She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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