I just saw a hot homeless man
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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