I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize