their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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