So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
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I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Sext me about skeletons
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize