He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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