This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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