Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
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She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
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the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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