I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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